At 94-years-old Laura lived a full and vibrant life that spanned decades and states before she settled in Oregon to start a family. Laura was independent up to the very end of her life which was exactly as she wanted it.

Laura was born in Algona, Iowa on May 25, 1926 to Carl B Albright and Stella Gross. Laura was the eldest of four siblings and had a large extended family as her mother was one of 18 children. In the 1930s Laura and her family lived in Hayfield, Minnesota on a farm with no running water or refrigeration. Laura recalled cold nights going to the outhouse in the Minnesota winters. Life in Minnesota was hard as the Great Depression descended on the US but Laura made many happy memories with her younger sister Terry whom she cherished.

In Laura’s early teenage years her mother left the family and Laura raised her younger siblings and helped her father Carl. She adored her father who had a quick wit and dry humor that she inherited. Laura remained in Hayfield and graduated high school in 1944. She was lifelong friends with several of her classmates.

The next years of Laura’s life were an adventure and she was far ahead of her time in her independence. In 1947 she drove a pickup truck to California to meet up with her high-school sweetheart. The young couple then drove across the country to settle in Babson, Park Florida. They married in 1947 but were divorced by 1949. Laura then wound up back in Chicago where her sister was living and met her second husband Mason P. Buck, a tennis pro.

Laura and Mason moved to Palm Beach for his career, and she taught for the Aurthur Murray Dance Studio. It was there she taught the Roosevelt’s grandsons to dance. Laura loved the warm sun of Florida – a stark contrast to Minnesota. During her time in Florida, she and Mason traveled to Key West and Cuba many times in the 1950s. Laura loved the bright colors of Cuba and learned some Spanish from her travels.

In 1959, Laura and Mason divorced and she left Florida for a new job in Philadelphia. Laura was not in Philadelphia long, in October 1959 she was transferred to Portland, Oregon and served as an Office Manager for General Tire Corporation and Western Photo Mount. She bought her own home on NE 113th street by herself in 1962, an admirable feat for a single divorcee. She was a true lady of the 1960s and her interior design was imbued with her personality. She decorated her house in bold turquoise colors and her home had a large mural of zebras.

In 1965, Laura’s friend dragged her to a “Parents Without Partners” dance despite her having no child at the time. It was at this dance she met the love of her life, divorcee William “Bill” Bradley. He was smitten. They were married the next year in 1966 and Laura became stepmom to Bill’s two teenage children Peggy and Patricia. Having spent many years helping raise other people’s children, Laura wanted a child of her own. In 1969 her wish came true as Bill and Laura adopted Christopher Neil Bradley.

While living in the Parkrose area, Bill and Laura became friends their politically active neighbors including Barbara Roberts, who was involved with the local PTA. Barbara was a lifelong friend and they supported her throughout her political career. Bill was elected Oregon State House of Representatives, four times. Laura served as his secretary during two of those terms in the 1970’s. It was also in these years that Laura met her best friend June Gumz – the two shared a friendship that spanned five decades. June and Laura visited often and during Covid they spoke on the phone every day.

In 1982, Bill and Laura built their dream home in Corbett, Oregon. They loved being near the trees and in the country. During these years they loved to entertain family and friends and visit with their grandchildren. It was also during these years they inherited a farm in Eudora, Arkansas that they tended to for many years, crossing the country to split time until they sold the property to their good friends and neighbors the Hensley family.

One of Laura’s greatest joys in life was attending church and fellowship with friends. She attended the Portland Center for Spiritual Living for 35 years. She loved helping Reverend Larry King edit his sermons and counted him as a trusted spiritual advisor and close friend.

After 47 years of marriage, Bill passed away in 2013 and Laura moved to Somerset Lodge Independent Living where she quickly made friends. Laura lived a long and full life – passing just 6 weeks shy of her 95th birthday. Her parting wish to her family was for everyone to “have a great life” and she made sure to tell her children she would be ok.

Laura will be deeply missed for her kindhearted spirit, dry wit and quiet charm. She is survived by her son, C. Neil Bradley (Valerie), stepdaughters Peggy Bradley (Andy), Patricia Ridgley (Randall). Her sister, Terry Albright Addison, brother, Dennis Albright. Granddaughters, Sarah Ridgley Kowalski (Brian), Lauren Ridgley (Ryan Pitz), Danny Bradley, and Nicole Bradley. She had four great grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews.

Laura is interred with Bill at Willamette National Cemetery. There will be a memorial service to celebrate her long life with friends and family July 29th at home of Patricia and Randall Ridgley, 1079 N Alder Street, Canby Oregon.

Obituary reprinted with permission by Laura’s family and posted at Sunnyside Funeral, Cremation & Memorial Gardens.

In physics, the uncertainty principle asserts that we cannot know the precise values of a system even when we know all of its initial conditions. In the case of an electron, for instance, we can know its position, but not simultaneously its momentum. One or more of its variables will always be uncertain.

I think I’m feeling a little like that electron.

In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, it seems like my whole world has been turned upside-down and uncertainty reigns.

As the seasons are changing, I’m frustrated by the plans I would normally be making.

• Can I be planning a summer vacation?
• Will I be able to have people over for a barbeque?
• Can we gather to watch fireworks on the fourth?
• Will school resume in the fall?

Kevin Antshel, psychologist at Syracuse University, explains that, “The fear of the unknown is possibly the most fundamental fear of human beings.” He goes on to say, “We’re hard-wired to avoid uncertainty, because it makes us feel lots of negative emotions.”

So how can we move through this time of uncertainty? How can we better cope when answers to our questions will not be forthcoming?

First of all, it’s not so much what is happening as much as it is how we view and react to what is happening.

We could say, “I’m trapped at home against my will.” But we could also say, “I’m grateful to have such a beautiful home to enjoy this spring.”

We could say, “We’re all in danger from exposure to the coronavirus.” Or we could say, “I’m creating an environment and a set of practices to keep myself and my family safe.”

It’s called reframing.

We don’t have to change the facts—instead we create a different narrative about what the facts mean personally. When we create a more positive frame, a more positive narrative, our anxiety will be diminished and we’ll be able to accept what’s going on with less emotional distress.

The other tip is to spend some time doing things that you can control. With uncertain times, our ability to control shrinks. Our sense of being “in charge” is diminished.

To make up for this, let’s focus on a hobby or pastime where you can exercise your control and create a sense of accomplishment. Maybe it’s time to hone your culinary skills (I’m working on perfecting some of my bread recipes). Maybe it’s time to get out the jigsaw puzzles (something that you can predictably enjoy and complete).

In any case, don’t let the ambiguity of life right now turn into emotional torment. You can take charge of your emotions. You can use reframing and a shift in focus to improve your mood, reduce anxiety, and create a sense of accomplishment.

It’s tempting to be pulled into the fear, to feel helpless and to despair. Instead, I’m reminded of another time when the world was in trouble and a wise teacher gave us counsel:

“Many of us worry about the world situation. We don’t know when the bombs will explode. We feel that we are on the edge of time. As individuals, we feel helpless, despairing. The situation is so dangerous, injustice is so widespread, the danger is so close. In this kind of situation, if we panic, things will only become worse. We need to remain calm, to see clearly. Meditation is to be aware, and to try to help.

I like to use the example of a small boat crossing the Gulf of Siam. In Vietnam, there are many people, called boat people, who leave the country in small boats. Often the boats are caught in rough seas or storms, the people may panic, and boats can sink. But if even one person aboard can remain calm, lucid, knowing what to do and what not to do, he or she can help the boat survive. His or her expression–face, voice–communicates clarity and calmness, and people have trust in that person. They will listen to what he or she says. One such person can save the lives of many.

Our world is something like a small boat. Compared with the cosmos, our planet is a very small boat. We are about to panic because our situation is no better than the situation of the small boat in the sea. You know that we have more than 5o,ooo nuclear weapons. Humankind has become a very dangerous species. We need people who can sit still and be able to smile, who can walk peacefully. We need people like that in order to save us. Mahayana Buddhism says that you are that person, that each of you is that person.”

—from Thich Nhat Hanh’s Being Peace

One group was asked to write about things for which they were grateful for. Another group was asked to write about things that bothered or displeased them. A third group was told to focus on events that had affected them in general (neither positive or negative).

After 10 weeks of writing, the group with the focus on gratitude were happier and more optimistic than their counterparts in the other groups.

It came as a surprise that they also exercised more and had fewer trips to the doctor than the people writing about negative events.

But maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that gratitude promotes health and happiness. We know that our mind has a lasting effect on our bodies. When our minds are stressed-out, our bodies will begin to show that stress. Likewise, when our minds focus on positive thoughts and emotions—our bodies will have a positive response.

But have you thought of gratitude as preventative medicine? Maybe you should!

A gratitude practice can be an easy addition to your daily routine. Consider one or more of the following:

• A nighttime gratitude journal with a few entries added before bed every night
• A practice of “counting your blessings” or mentally acknowledging the blessings in your life
• Letters, notes and cards of gratitude to the people who have helped and supported you
• A prayer of gratitude
• A mindfulness meditation on the subject of gratitude or the many areas of “good” that you see

Any of these can be a simple way to acknowledge the the many good things going on in your life.

When we focus on gratitude, the petty resentments and troubles of the day fade into the background. Our hearts and minds open to more possibilities when we focus on the positive side of our lives.

Of course there’s another reason to express our gratitude for the positive things going on in our lives: it just feels good!

Memorial held at the Portland Center for Spiritual Living on Saturday, November 2nd, 2019 at 2:00 PM.

Al was born in Dayton, Ohio, but always considered Oregon home. He attended St. James School in Hagerstown, MD, graduated from Johns Hopkins University, and was an Army Officer before becoming a CPA. He practiced primarily in Hawaii and Southern California, before retiring to his home in Orange, CA. A few months ago, after spending the winter in Hawaii, he and Donna moved into their new home in Vancouver, Washington.

Al unexpectedly passed away of a heart attack. Donna, his wife and love of his life was with him holding his hand. A few weeks earlier he had been diagnosed with stage IV cancer after only a few weeks of feeling ill. He will be sorely missed.

He is survived by this loving wife, Donna, and his two children, Surely and Albert, his sister Joan, and  Donna’s many grandchildren who call him grandpa.

You can listen to the one-hour celebration of life service (including personal sharing by his wife, sister and other family members and friends) online here. The audio contains original music by LaRhonda Steele and performed by LaRhonda Steele and  Ken Brewer.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to “In Honor of Albert Wallace,” to the Pacific Crest Trail Association, 1331 Garden Highway, Sacramento, CA 95633.

Al, or Stargazer, was a solo through hiker on the Pacific Crest Trail in 2015. Obviously in great health, he completed all 2650 miles of the trail from the Mexico to Canada. At the onset, he said he wanted to hike the trail to look at the stars and the milky way every night. Donna supported him throughout the months it took to complete his journey, as did many of his friends and family. He wrote a book about his experiences, that we hope to someday publish. Here is an excerpt:

“I sat under the tamarack trees and was drenched in the warm glow of the setting sun. It was the perfect spot, the grand paradise experience, and a moment in my life that for the first time I felt at peace with the world and myself exactly as it was becoming. I was imbedded in the fabric of the universe and it was imbedded in me. It was the moment of my acceptance of the interconnectedness of all cosmic forms and their timelessness.” —Albert Louis Wallace

But often they represented work that would need to be done by me or the people I worked with.

There were times when my inbox became so full that I couldn’t wade my way through it all. How could my team possibly get all this work done? How could I even really see what needed to be done? It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

I haven’t worked for the telephone company for years, but my “metaphorical” inbox still seems pretty full. Why?

It’s because we let other people set our priorities. It’s because we accept the pressure of friends, family, society, work and community—all to do things that we may not even agree with!

Just because we want to be a “good person,” doesn’t mean that we have to take on the responsibility of the people around us.

It’s time to empty that inbox. It’s time to evaluate the many activities that we’re involved in and decide if they’re really important. It’s time to take a “pass” on the things that don’t have meaning any longer. It’s time to renegotiate the responsibilities that seem overwhelming.

In short, it’s time to look at our personal priorities and make sure our activities are in alignment with them. When we focus on what’s really important to us, God will help clear the way.

Ernest Holmes, the founder of Science of Mind, refers to this as the spiritual Law of Focus:

“To concentrate means to bring to a center, and in Mental Science it means focusing the mental attention on some definite and desired thought, image, idea or thing.”

“We concentrate our attention. The Law creates the form.”

So what’s really important to you? Let’s pull it out of that inbox and give it our undivided focus!

Our 100-year-old walnut tree was sick. We tried to save it with special fertilizer and extra summer watering, but the arborist said that it had a virus. Over the winter it died.

That’s when the City of Portland said we would have to replace it as part of their Urban Forestry program. They said someone would come out and tell us what kind of tree we needed to plant and where to situate it on our property. There would be a $100 “Tree Removal and Replanting Application” fee.

A fee for them making us plant a tree in our own yard? Really?

There was a rush to the internet to verify that they can do this (they can) and a search to see if we really have to replace the tree (we do, or they’ll fine us).

Oh my, the story we started telling about the City of Portland! How they were making us change our yard. How our choice of trees was limited (you have to pick from a list). How the “system” was working against our wishes. Imagine: the City of Portland dictating how our yard should look!

We researched how to appeal these outrageous rules. We read about what would happen to us if we ignored the rules. We spent a lot of time being angry and complaining. Our story was “The City of Portland is Violating our Rights!“

Finally, I realized that we weren’t going to be able to the change the City of Portland. I also realized that I didn’t like being upset over this situation.

That’s when I remembered the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Oh yeah: Acceptance! Time to put away the old story of anger and outrage. Those emotions help us to clarify that the City couldn’t be changed.

But our story could. And out reactions could. And, of course, our emotions could be changed.

Our new story is “We get to pick out a new tree for our yard!” We’re favoring Crape Myrtles because they bloom in the summer, have beautiful fall foliage, and have an interesting peeling bark pattern. Which do you like better? The red or the purple?

I recently had the pleasure of being invited to speak at another Spiritual Center on a Wednesday night. The weather had been sultry all day and as I pulled into the center’s parking lot, dark clouds were beginning to form.

They had asked me to speak about ambiguity—about living with uncertainty and change. They recently had several leadership changes and I believe they wanted to know how their faith might be used to add a “solidness” to things in the midst of change. Or at least that’s what I planned for my 20-minute talk.

As the musician for the evening warmed up and I took my place in the lovely auditorium, the echoes of thunder started coming through the walls of the building. Soon wind and a downpour of water joined the booming electrical storm.

And that’s when the lights went out.

We hastily decided to continue the service. Candles were lit in the dark sanctuary. The musician switched to an acoustic guitar. I made plans to speak off the podium, down amongst the seated people.

The dramatic setting was a great backdrop for my talk on ambiguity.

I shared these three key ideas about living with uncertainty:

1. Change is Inevitable. It’s useless to try and keep things from changing. When we have a good thing going, we’d like to keep it forever. We’d like our friends to stay the same. We want to have relationships, jobs and homes that are good—and stay that way. But that’s not the nature of life. We have to be willing to allow (and even welcome) change into our lives. It is only through change that something new and better can come our way. Resistance is harmful and, as they say, futile.
2. Our “Upsets” Last Ninety Seconds. Research among brain scientists have shown that a negative reaction (emotion) towards change happens without our control. When something negative happens we react in anger or frustration. This is natural. It is due to a release of various neurochemicals that trigger our “fight or flight” response. These chemicals flood our body for about a minute or two to help us get out of danger. Once you get past the ninety seconds—your reaction to change is a choice. Yes, believe it or not, you can continue to be pissed-off or anxious—but you can also choose to feel something else!
3. We Can Participate in Change. Since change is inevitable, wouldn’t it be better if we participate in the changes that arise? Rather than grumbling, gossiping and fussing about the changing world—what if we accept and move with the change? We can give our input into the changes around us so that our voice is heard in a positive way. We can give up complaining and start collaborating!

How well do you cope with uncertainly? Do you resist change? What do you do when the lights go out?

We lit candles and did our best to have a great evening!

Springtime, for instance, has an “initiation” kind of energy. It’s the best time for starting new projects or for making long-term changes. It corresponds to “planting time” to our ancestors and we still have the urge to try new things, to embark upon new jobs and to start-up new relationships in the spring.

Summer solstice marks the passage from spring into summer. We now enter a season of growth, high activity, taking action and beginning to see the fruition of our activities. Ancient people would be busy watering crops, pulling weeds, tending livestock and so forth. They would already be able to sense the prosperity that would come in the fall harvest through their summer efforts.

What does summer mean to us in the modern world? The symbology and energy are still the same. Summer is the time for industrious activity. The longer days allow us more time to be outdoors, to tend to our yards and catch up on the maintenance of houses, cars and other projects. Even our leisure time can assume more vigor as we are drawn to hiking, kayaking, tennis and other out-of-door activities during the good weather.

The ancient Greeks measured time in two ways. There was Chronos, the kind of time that we’re used to. It’s measured according to a routine clock in 24 hours and 365 days. It’s good for scheduling appointments and marking the calendar.

The other type of time was called Kairos and it was used to indicate the auspicious timing or an opportune moment. It’s also called “right timing,” and marks when to start or end things when they are apt to be most successful.

Summer is the “right time” for bringing our ideas to fruition. It’s the right time for putting energy into projects that have been back-burnered so that they will be brought to a conclusion. It’s the right time to paint the house, clean the closets, weed the yard and finish your novel.

It’s not that these things can’t be accomplished other times of the year. They can (of course). But, why not have the energy of the planet on your side? Why not use the energy in all those growing plants, the shining sun and the longer daylight to your advantage?

Happy Summer Solstice, everyone, and my best wishes for accomplishing all your goals and projects this season!