But often they represented work that would need to be done by me or the people I worked with.

There were times when my inbox became so full that I couldn’t wade my way through it all. How could my team possibly get all this work done? How could I even really see what needed to be done? It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

I haven’t worked for the telephone company for years, but my “metaphorical” inbox still seems pretty full. Why?

It’s because we let other people set our priorities. It’s because we accept the pressure of friends, family, society, work and community—all to do things that we may not even agree with!

Just because we want to be a “good person,” doesn’t mean that we have to take on the responsibility of the people around us.

It’s time to empty that inbox. It’s time to evaluate the many activities that we’re involved in and decide if they’re really important. It’s time to take a “pass” on the things that don’t have meaning any longer. It’s time to renegotiate the responsibilities that seem overwhelming.

In short, it’s time to look at our personal priorities and make sure our activities are in alignment with them. When we focus on what’s really important to us, God will help clear the way.

Ernest Holmes, the founder of Science of Mind, refers to this as the spiritual Law of Focus:

“To concentrate means to bring to a center, and in Mental Science it means focusing the mental attention on some definite and desired thought, image, idea or thing.”

“We concentrate our attention. The Law creates the form.”

So what’s really important to you? Let’s pull it out of that inbox and give it our undivided focus!

I recently had the pleasure of being invited to speak at another Spiritual Center on a Wednesday night. The weather had been sultry all day and as I pulled into the center’s parking lot, dark clouds were beginning to form.

They had asked me to speak about ambiguity—about living with uncertainty and change. They recently had several leadership changes and I believe they wanted to know how their faith might be used to add a “solidness” to things in the midst of change. Or at least that’s what I planned for my 20-minute talk.

As the musician for the evening warmed up and I took my place in the lovely auditorium, the echoes of thunder started coming through the walls of the building. Soon wind and a downpour of water joined the booming electrical storm.

And that’s when the lights went out.

We hastily decided to continue the service. Candles were lit in the dark sanctuary. The musician switched to an acoustic guitar. I made plans to speak off the podium, down amongst the seated people.

The dramatic setting was a great backdrop for my talk on ambiguity.

I shared these three key ideas about living with uncertainty:

1. Change is Inevitable. It’s useless to try and keep things from changing. When we have a good thing going, we’d like to keep it forever. We’d like our friends to stay the same. We want to have relationships, jobs and homes that are good—and stay that way. But that’s not the nature of life. We have to be willing to allow (and even welcome) change into our lives. It is only through change that something new and better can come our way. Resistance is harmful and, as they say, futile.
2. Our “Upsets” Last Ninety Seconds. Research among brain scientists have shown that a negative reaction (emotion) towards change happens without our control. When something negative happens we react in anger or frustration. This is natural. It is due to a release of various neurochemicals that trigger our “fight or flight” response. These chemicals flood our body for about a minute or two to help us get out of danger. Once you get past the ninety seconds—your reaction to change is a choice. Yes, believe it or not, you can continue to be pissed-off or anxious—but you can also choose to feel something else!
3. We Can Participate in Change. Since change is inevitable, wouldn’t it be better if we participate in the changes that arise? Rather than grumbling, gossiping and fussing about the changing world—what if we accept and move with the change? We can give our input into the changes around us so that our voice is heard in a positive way. We can give up complaining and start collaborating!

How well do you cope with uncertainly? Do you resist change? What do you do when the lights go out?

We lit candles and did our best to have a great evening!

It’s my foiled plans.

I had planned to take several walks on the beach with the puppies (too painful). I had planned to replace the bathroom sink (can’t get into that position). I had planned weed pulling and spraying. I had planned to participate in the AIDS Walk on Saturday.

Until the “sprain,” I had no idea how much I had planned ahead for the next few days. I was unaware of my future-thinking and how much investment I had made in those plans.

At first I was pretty upset. How dare the universe thwart my plans! Can I just ignore the sprain and carry on? The pain seemed to indicate otherwise. I felt defeated and angry.

The victim-consciousness passed quickly. I’ve trained myself to look at life differently.

First I took care of business: I re-negotiated the commitments I had made. People appreciated the quick notification and were understanding about what had happened.

Then I looked at what I could and would do instead. I focused on what was true and productive and useful for me now.

I asked for help to keep the ice packs rotated. I limited standing and walking. I simply changed gears as I began to accept what’s true for me on this day.

I am accomplishing an amazing amount of work from the sofa. Blogs have been written, newsletter articles created, a workshop outlined, my Sunday talk is completed.

A ruined day (or two)? Not at all. When the unexpected strikes—I change the expectations!